Don't look at me with those yellow eyes

I've never had a close relationship with my grandma and today I almost cried when I saw her in her bed at the hospital. Her right kidney collapsed this morning and she has chronic liver failure. She grabbed my hand and looked at me with pussy yellow eyes and said "Thank goodness you're here, these fucking nurses have been poking me with those goddamn needles about 40 forty fucking times!" I laughed and said "That sucks, I'll yell at them if they do it again." She wouldn't let go of my hand and she was shaking like a chihuahua left out in the cold. The doctors say she's doing really bad at times and earlier I gave the okay for them to drain the fluids out of her stomach because the fluids are pushing her lungs up and she's not receiving enough oxygen. They said she was going to go through anesthesia and that there's a possibility that her heart might fail. She's in intensive care right now and I'm going to go see her tomorrow in the morning. All I can do is wait and hope for the best, but realistically I'm scared for her. This is the first time that I'm scared of death. Fuck.

bitch and moan

Some sort of weird depression has come over me. I fucking hate people, I hate everyone. Blah blah blah bitch and moan. I fucking hate myself right now, and that doesn't happen often. Jesus fucking Christ what's wrong with me? I've been locked inside my room for 5 hours having a serious talk about life with myself. Fuck off, life.

"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world."

I'm leaking, maybe I am human after all.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed

The lesbians, the fags, and the ungrateful.

I went to a gay club last night for the first time ever. And all I can say is that all the fags are into GaGa. I was harassed, hit on, and harassed again. I saw penis, drag queens, and hot girls. Overall I enjoyed the club, except for the single fact that I was the designated driver. I was the one who psyched everyone up to go, and then they make me designated driver, and have the nerve to tell me I'm a party pooper? I feel played, and you can't play a playa playa, I'm a playa. Fuck y'all.

By harassed, I actually mean that some dude came up to me, danced on me, rubbed his shit on me, grabbed my peen, pulled my hair, and then kissed my neck. Twice. And it wouldn't have been all that bad If the guy wasn't like 40. He was good looking for 40, but I'm 17. The whole time I was making that one face Ashley makes whenever she's uncomfortable or surprised.

Blah blah blah... rambling.

So apparently I'm a promiscuous devil worshiper with no morals. This has been said to me by my mother because I'm not a heterosexual. I'm ignorant because I believe that anybody should love anybody. I'm an ignorant because I can't see through god's eyes. I'm ignorant because I fight for my rights. I'm an embarrassing faggot because I believe that homosexuals should be able to marry if they want. Well, mother, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to pray to God? Ask him to convert your child into a good Catholic. The last time I checked, God said I should try to be nicer to people. God said I should drink more water, God said I should find a partner. God said I should be more fabulous! And do you know what I said to God? I said "Eh... whatever!". Not once has God told me anything about my sexuality. So pray to your dear God all you want, mother. And if you don't like my lifestyle, then you can suck it. I don't understand how you can discriminate when you're an illegal immigrant. I thought you might understand me, but now I realize that you're hateful and selfish. And do you know what mother? I don't hate you. I feel really sorry for you. It saddens me that you're so narrow minded. I hope that your god does you some good. Just keep your bullshit and hatred out of my life. Oh, I almost forgot about the rest of my family. This is for you too. Keep your traditions, keep your beliefs, but keep my name out your mouth. Blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Anyways, today was fun. I protested against proposition 8. My friends are awesome. And I found out that I can't have a party at my house because I'm not respecting the family values and morals. Whatever. I'll figure something out. We're definitely going to celebrate. As Tim Gunn would say, "Make it work!"

Hogwarts/Harry Potter/Magic

I don't know why I feel the need to post this.
I'm bored...
Anywheys, this is how I roll in the magical world.

Eduardo M Mendoza: Mudblood
House: Slytherin
Hogwarts Pet: A B&W cat, specifically Archie.
Wand: 13 3/4" Ebony Wood with Demiguise hair for the core.
Patronus: Giant Octopus
Animagus: Non-registered Griffon Vulture
Best Subject: Transfiguration

Now gimme yo infos!


I don't know what's wrong with me today. Out of nowhere I started to feel emotional. It started when I was searching through my old myspace messages. And then I looked up at the picture of beloved dead dog Tigger. And then I had flashbacks of my friends. Then I started to listen to Enya. How gay is that? I can't stop crying. What the fuck is wrong with me? I would call Crystal, but she's sleeping. Damn! This is so gay.
  • Current Music
    Enya- Only time

Brendan is not dead

Somehow I ended up spending the night at a beach with Stixy and Ashley. We had an awesome bonfire, the sky was beautiful, and the air was rich and cold. At around 4:00 A.M. the fun was over and the air went from cold to freezing. We should have left at 3:00 A.M. We ended up sharing a single blanket for survival, It was fucking not fun.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired

Getting down on Saturday night.

Saturday night I ended up watching Lost with Ashley, Bob, and Crystal. I wasn't feeling too good, but I thought it was something unimportant like constipation. "After this episode is over, I'll go home." I said to my self. After the episode is over I make exit. "You have to take me back to Riverbank Eddie" said Bob. "Why can't the motherfucker sleep over at HIS house?" I said to my self. This is where the story starts. On my way to motherfucking Riverbank! I feel as if someone has kicked my testicles, and the pain is there permanently. I start to get sweaty and numb, I couldn't handle it anymore so I have Ashley take over the wheel. I usually don't let people drive my car; this was a fucking emergency! Ashley was a bit uncomfortable driving my car, from what I could tell, but I was in no condition to drive. A minute later I ask her to pull over because I needed to vomit, but instead of vomit there was excess saliva. (gross) We get to Riverbank, I try to poop at Bob's aunts house, but I can't. I try to vomit, but I can't. Outside the bathroom there is a container of Tylenol and water. I took four pills, and back to my car. The drive back to Ceres was fucking HELL! I somehow managed to drive Crystal home, and Ashley got off with her. I drove back home and fell asleep. Two hours later I woke my mom up, I needed to go to the hospital urgently. Thank god there weren't many people in the Emergency room, I was seen within 10 minutes. They scanned my stomach to find a fucking kidney stone. I HAVE A FUCKING KIDNEY STONE! ugh! Thank god for vicodin. So now I'm drugged up all the time.
  • Current Mood
    uncomfortable uncomfortable